Dead Ends by Samantha Byres
“She’s got her back to me, but it feels like I know before I see her face. Not who she is, because I haven’t thought about her in over a decade. But later it will feel like, in the second before Katya says her name, the second before she turns her head to me, my life got split down the middle again. Before and after.”
After desperately escaping her small New Zealand hometown in her early twenties, Nell finds herself back there as a 30-something under the guise of needing to care for her mother after she has experienced a stroke. The truth is, after a decade of bad decisions, Nell’s out of options. She’s left her job following an ongoing complaint against her boss and former lover, finds herself homeless, and, with an empty bank account, returning home is her only viable choice, much to her disgust.
“The whole place has been rebranded as a charming little weekend getaway, full of pretty walks and naff homewares stores. Cutesy knick-knacks…In other places, this would be entry-level gentrification, but here it represents a major cultural shift. Walking upright.”
What follows is an unravelling of Nell’s penchant for chaos and inability to make better decisions. On her first night home, she heads to the local dive bar and ends up sleeping with her dead best friend's (married) older brother, Mick. And in a small town where everyone knows everyone, acts of indiscretion never stay secret for long.
A chance encounter in the bathroom at the dive bar leads Nell to connect with Katya, new in town, with whom she soon embarks on a love affair. Katya is employed by Petronella Bush, a blast from Nell’s past, as she remembers how she and April (the dead best friend) would watch Psychic Rest, Petronella’s show from the early 2000s. Petronella’s a TV personality psychic, and she’s looking to revive things, starting with a tour of small towns where she can test her ‘powers’ and rebuild her following.
The backdrop to Nell’s chaos is the unspoken stories of small-town life. Violence, especially against women, is a strong grounding theme throughout Dead Ends and a sobering reminder that, globally, up to 40% of murders of women are by intimate partners. Nell’s aunt Heather, whom she never met, disappeared without a trace in her twenties. April, we slowly learn throughout the novel, was murdered by her boyfriend.
“This network of dead girls, a crisscrossing electrical current, network of pain and loss and no more chances, underneath us all. The ground crackles with it.”
As Nell delves deeper into her relationships with Katya and Mick, things get messier. She’s waiting on a potential payout from her former workplace, hoping that her complaint will see her receive at least some compensation for her unfair resignation. Strapped for cash, she accepts an offer from Petronella to assist with her coming shows. The work mainly involves moving boxes around and helping set up. Nell knows there’s something murkier about Petronella – she just can’t put her finger on it yet, and her desperation for cash is clouding her judgement.
When the big ask and bigger paycheck from Petronella finally arrive, Nell puts aside her doubts in favour of the money and follows another, inherently more dangerous, thread – the outcome of which will change her family and draw a line for Nell to make better decisions. Whether she does or not is a question that remains unanswered.
“Closure’s not real. Even after you think you’ve had it, you’ll still get memories nipping at your arse. I tell myself it’s good to wrap things up with Katya, that I don’t want there to be bad feelings between us, but it’s peace I want from her.”
Byres has created a close, intimate novel that hums with life, death and whatever might hover in between. I loved the uniqueness of the Petronella Bush storyline and how Byres keeps the reader on the edge of whether Petronella is authentic while highlighting the showmanship and lengths these types of individuals will go to. Nell is supported by an incredible cast of characters, particularly April’s aunt Jacquie, and Nell’s very lovable, if a little dopey, brother, Cal.
Byre’s exploration of queerness feels like an authentic, natural part of the story rather than ‘the story’, offering readers a more complex, integrated and immersive opportunity to engage with a character like Nell. I found the whole book utterly engrossing and highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys authentic, messy characters with the right touch of psychological drama.
Elaine Chennatt is a writer, educator and psychology student currently residing in nipaluna. She has a special interest in bibliotherapy (how we use literature to make sense of our lives) and is endlessly curious about the creative philosophies of others. She lives with her husband and two bossy dachshunds on the not-so-sunny side of the river (IYKYK). Find her online at wordswithelaine.com.
